I Love You, Jackass
by FuzzehxSocks
Summary: Detention has been embedded into their schedule since day one, but there is one day that's was more...productive than the others. No lemon . Oneshot .


**Authors Note – it's pretty weird for me to start this again after being gone for, what, almost a year ? Well, I got this sudden urge to write . Especially when the title popped in my head . "I love you, Jackass" . For all those lovely jackasses out there that you can't help but love . **

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What exactly is detention? Fair punishment? Torture forced upon children who reap what they sow? I don't know what it means to others, but for me? It means almost four years of staying after school with the biggest jackass you would ever know.

***

"What the hell possessed you to bring hot fudge to school, just to squeeze it and "accidentally" get it all over yourself." I asked, gritting my teeth in frustration. "And then getting **me **in trouble as well by putting the stupid bottle in front of me after that?"

"Aww, Eddie!" He pouted and looked up at me with those obviously fake "innocent-puppy" eyes. "You're no fun!"

"No, Envy." I grumbled. "_I'll _tell you what's no "fun". What no "fun" is is staying after school to clean this stupid classroom that I spend enough time in from every dreary morning to the afternoon when everyone else can actually get home and take a productive nap."

"But Eddie!" Envy threw his hands in the air, bringing the wet sponge he had in hand up and letting all the soapy water spill down. "There's so much we could do! We're _alone_ in a **classroom!**"

He dropped the sponge in the overly bright orange bucket and ran over to the teacher's table.

"Like! Like this!" He pointed at the desk energetically. "Who _knows_ what's in these drawers! Porn mags, a dildo! Maybe even nekkid shots of someone!"

"Envy, you're sick." I rubbed my temples. Not that I wasn't used to this. Oh no, this happened almost everyday. Detention for us was like an after school club. It was embedded into our daily schedule like how it was to sleep at night and wake up in the morning. His ranting of what could be hidden in those "treasure chests of magical adventures and fairy fantasies" was going on for longer than usual, so I decided to space out for a while.

_Splash!_

"Edo, are you even listening?" The green haired bastard asked from above me. He was crouched down on a desk, his elbow resting on his thigh, his other hand holding loosely on the gaudy bucket. His vividly violet eyes shined with mischief while looking down at my sopping wet form. I let out a slight growl. I was about to scream when I thought about what else I could do. Instead of bursting out in anger, I decided to hold it down for once. '_Hmm, I wonder how he'll react if I…'_

I smiled brightly up at him. He looked surprised.

"Envy." I cooed in a sickly sweet voice. "I'm all wet now! And it's all because you were being a. Naughty. Little. Boy."

I tapped his nose on each of the last words I said. I pulled off my hair tie that usually keeps my braid in place. I knew how he liked my hair down better than it was braided. Shaking it out, I went over to the windows that were placed conveniently placed where sunlight could enter. The warm afternoon sun hit my skin and I let out a sigh at the pleasurable sensation while my skin prickled slightly. I heard him move a little. Smirking a little inside, I turned towards him.

"Well, let's get back to work, eh?" I grinned victoriously and I walked to get the sponge.

"God, damn it!" He cried out after a moment of silence. I looked over surprised to see a moving body running towards me. I began to scream but he pounced on me before I could get anything out. He sat up so he was straddling me. "This is all your fault, y'know!"

"**My** fault?!" I screamed, outraged. "You're the one who got the stupid idea to bring hot fudge to school!"

"Your fault for buying me a bottle of hot fudge in seventh grade and introducing me to that fantastic shit!"

"Your fault for being so damn idiotic and pouring it on yourself!"

"Your fault for not paying attention to where I put the bottle!"

"Your fault for taking away my dreams of being free after school!"

"Your fault for not enjoying or noticing the joys of detention!"

"Your fault for us getting detention in the first place and then pouring water all over me!"

"Your fault for not paying attention!"

"Your fault for ranting on about dildos, condoms, and porno mags!"

"You know what?" Envy spat in frustration. "My fault for falling in love with you!"

He leaned down and crushed his lips against mine as I could only stare in shock. He prodded my lips with his tongue, and without noticing, I allowed it to happen. He slipped the pink muscle in between my lips and I let out a soft moan. Where did he learn to do _that?_ I slowly got used to the rhythm of our lips moving together and wrapped my arms around his lean torso. His hands threaded through my hair and we rolled on the ground, trying to gain dominance over one another. When we finally came up for much needed air, I could only sit there, panting with my eyes glazed over. He suddenly let out a laugh.

"Sorry." He held his head in his hand. "I don't-"

I stopped him before he could say anything else by putting a finger on his lips and shushing him.

"Don't be." I chuckled softly. "I fell in love with you way before already."

He opened his eyes wide in shock, and I could only smile slightly before he jumped on me again and kissed my forehead.

"I love you, Edward."

I smiled softly and hit the back of his head.

"_I love you, Jackass."_

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**WHOOP, THAR IT IS . Hope you liked me fail attempt to get rebooted in the writing area of my life . (; Hope you had a fun read and hopefully I'll write something else sometime soon . Or not . You can't expect much from a wishy-washy person like me . ):**

**Reviews are appreciated . (:**


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